| Grief is a big hairy monster that demands its due. | | | | miss him or her you do. The heart is what it is. |
| Whether your loss is of the two-legged or the | | | | Validate your own feelings. |
| four-legged variety grief is grief. If we do not | | | | Here are some tips to hopefully help:o Cry. Cry as |
| express our grief, feel how we really feel, the | | | | much and as often as you need to. If you have a |
| monster grief will rise up and demand our | | | | busy life it may be helpful to actually schedule some |
| attention-even when it's most inappropriate to do so. | | | | down time when you can be alone and reflect.o |
| I'll give you an example of when I lost my dad. It had | | | | Consider a memorial. One of my favorites is to plant |
| been my custom for years to send him an Easter | | | | a tree with a dedication stone beneath it. Or buy a |
| basket with all of his favorite candies and silly wind-up | | | | helium balloon, perhaps attach a note to your pet or |
| toys. I enjoyed this as much as he did. After he | | | | a picture, take it to a peaceful location, (sunset or |
| passed away, six months prior, I thought I was doing | | | | sunrise is particularly serene), and launch your balloon. |
| fairly well until I walked into the grocery store and | | | | Try to have supportive friends or family with you.o |
| saw displays of bunnies, candy, and baskets. I stood | | | | Take care of yourself. Get plenty of sleep, keep a |
| and wept right there in the store. I cried not only for | | | | good diet, exercise (great for releasing those good |
| the loss of that Easter but all of the Easters to | | | | endorphins), and pamper yourself a bit.o |
| come. Never again would I do this for him. I could not | | | | Communicate with people who understand what you |
| hold back the floodgates. | | | | are going through. Your veterinarian or animal shelter |
| It is often difficult in our society to express our grief, | | | | may have information on pet grief groups. Or go |
| especially over the loss of a pet. People often say, | | | | online and find a chat room of supportive folks.o On |
| "I'm sorry," and assume this has settled the issue. Or, | | | | a daily basis think about your pet and what he or she |
| they tell us to rush right out and get another cat or | | | | did to make you laugh. Even if the thought is fleeting |
| dog or bird... as if he or she could be replaced like a | | | | this accomplishes two things. It physically helps your |
| pair of shoes. | | | | body find its chemical equilibrium, e.g. when people |
| But all of us who have lost a dear companion know it | | | | use humor and laughter to fight serious illnesses. And, |
| is not that simple. And there are solid reasons for | | | | it begins to place your loved one in your memories, |
| this: look at the facts of the situation. Our pets are | | | | like placing her in a treasured chest or cabinet. You |
| always happy to see us. They give us unconditional | | | | begin to feel you have not lost her completely |
| love and devotion. They don't care how we look, if | | | | because she will always be with you in your mind and |
| we've done our work or not, if we have the best | | | | heart.o When you are able to put the food dishes |
| house or money in the bank. They just consistently | | | | away, get rid of the toys, etc. and you feel |
| love us. We confide in them. They make us smile | | | | emotionally ready it is probably time to go find a new |
| when we're sad or tired or discouraged. Many, many | | | | friend. Choosing a new pet too early can be a |
| times they make us laugh. | | | | disaster. You may feel the new pet has to measure |
| Why would we not grieve over these terrific | | | | up to the charms and talents of the companion |
| creatures? Perhaps we think (with pressure from | | | | you've just lost. That would not be fair to your new |
| society) that we shouldn't-"it was just a dog...or a | | | | little guy or you.o If you fall into a depression that |
| cat...just get another one." Don't fall into this | | | | you cannot seem to climb out of make sure you |
| misperception. If you are sad, you are sad. If you | | | | seek professional help. |